I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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