That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
