Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
