"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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