he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
