I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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