hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
