Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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