New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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