Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
