he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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