you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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