so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
