She is in my trunk
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
