I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
