apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
