Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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