Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
