Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
