I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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