i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
