I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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