I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
