my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
