guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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