Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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