We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
