yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
