my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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