i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
