dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
