the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
