My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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