is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What changed your mind?
Being sober
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
