Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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