I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
