so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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