I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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