these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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