the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
