oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
oh god the rape fog is back!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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