so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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