I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
