Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
