how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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