i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry about my life...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
