Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
