I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
