Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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