I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
