My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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