I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
