we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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